Comments on: The hard part of parenting http://www.jessandchuck.com/2007/09/27/the-hard-part-of-parenting/ Wed, 14 Jul 2010 03:20:12 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: Laura http://www.jessandchuck.com/2007/09/27/the-hard-part-of-parenting/comment-page-1/#comment-100 Laura Mon, 01 Oct 2007 02:20:31 +0000 http://www.jessandchuck.com/2007/09/27/the-hard-part-of-parenting/#comment-100 Hi Jess, Great news about the house! Very exciting! Just read the Colin tantrum blog. Ditto what Amy & Grandma say. Craig's brought my yelling at George to my attention. I have been trying not to yell unless there's danger. I don't want to be a yelling mom, which I was becoming. Yelling is useless, and kids learn to tune it out. We the moms are the leaders. Leaders can definitely lead more effectively when they are not yelling. Lately George has been willfully hitting me. This past week I have responded to it by clearing his room of all toys and books, and making him go in with the door closed for 15 minutes. That was so totally distressing to him that I thought I was going to have heart failure. I was practically hyperventilating...So I know how guilty you feel! But I need to nip that behavior in the bud. I think it's been successful, because he's only done it twice more since, and has subsequently remarked that he doesn't want to go to his room with the door shut. In retrospect, he certainly deserved it and I don't feel guilty anymore. Hang in there. I think it's ok that George & Colin are upset when they have to be in their rooms with the door shut. That's the point. If it didn't make him upset, why would he care to stop the crummy behavior? He needs to learn now that you're the boss, while he's little. (And so does George.) Because it'll be much more difficult to establish it when they are bigger, and all the more so when they are bigger than us (which will be in about 10 years...) Also they need to learn that women are to be respected... whether they are moms, teachers, or in the future, girlfriends. So that's our job at the moment. Here's another possibly helpful thought: would your mom feel guilty for disciplining you this way? My mom definitely would NOT. Lots of luck, and Love you, Laura Hi Jess,
Great news about the house! Very exciting!

Just read the Colin tantrum blog. Ditto what Amy & Grandma say.

Craig’s brought my yelling at George to my attention. I have been trying not to yell unless there’s danger. I don’t want to be a yelling mom, which I was becoming. Yelling is useless, and kids learn to tune it out. We the moms are the leaders. Leaders can definitely lead more effectively when they are not yelling.

Lately George has been willfully hitting me. This past week I have responded to it by clearing his room of all toys and books, and making him go in with the door closed for 15 minutes. That was so totally distressing to him that I thought I was going to have heart failure. I was practically hyperventilating…So I know how guilty you feel! But I need to nip that behavior in the bud. I think it’s been successful, because he’s only done it twice more since, and has subsequently remarked that he doesn’t want to go to his room with the door shut.

In retrospect, he certainly deserved it and I don’t feel guilty anymore. Hang in there. I think it’s ok that George & Colin are upset when they have to be in their rooms with the door shut. That’s the point. If it didn’t make him upset, why would he care to stop the crummy behavior? He needs to learn now that you’re the boss, while he’s little. (And so does George.) Because it’ll be much more difficult to establish it when they are bigger, and all the more so when they are bigger than us (which will be in about 10 years…) Also they need to learn that women are to be respected… whether they are moms, teachers, or in the future, girlfriends. So that’s our job at the moment.

Here’s another possibly helpful thought: would your mom feel guilty for disciplining you this way? My mom definitely would NOT.
Lots of luck, and Love you,
Laura

]]> By: Amy http://www.jessandchuck.com/2007/09/27/the-hard-part-of-parenting/comment-page-1/#comment-98 Amy Mon, 01 Oct 2007 01:00:51 +0000 http://www.jessandchuck.com/2007/09/27/the-hard-part-of-parenting/#comment-98 Sophia is going through a similar phase, especially when she's over-tired (which is often in the evenings since she doesn't nap anymore). It's really hard to keep my cool when she's tantruming, but I know yelling at her doesn't help (she usually starts laughing at me if I yell--nice). We are trying really hard to be consistent with the time outs. If her mood is out of control, she is required to sit in her room until she's calmed down. We tell her she needs to stay there until she's ready to cooperate/be nice/stop yelling/etc. It's been working better the more we stick with it. And I'm trying not to take thing personally. I'm sure once you guys get more settled into your new routine things will calm down. Colin's a great kid. Hey, and don't ever hesitate to talk to your pediatrician if you are at your wits end. I called them about potty training struggles (Sophia is totally regressing, so we backed off), and I got some really great advice. Sophia is going through a similar phase, especially when she’s over-tired (which is often in the evenings since she doesn’t nap anymore). It’s really hard to keep my cool when she’s tantruming, but I know yelling at her doesn’t help (she usually starts laughing at me if I yell–nice). We are trying really hard to be consistent with the time outs. If her mood is out of control, she is required to sit in her room until she’s calmed down. We tell her she needs to stay there until she’s ready to cooperate/be nice/stop yelling/etc. It’s been working better the more we stick with it. And I’m trying not to take thing personally. I’m sure once you guys get more settled into your new routine things will calm down. Colin’s a great kid. Hey, and don’t ever hesitate to talk to your pediatrician if you are at your wits end. I called them about potty training struggles (Sophia is totally regressing, so we backed off), and I got some really great advice.

]]> By: Grandma http://www.jessandchuck.com/2007/09/27/the-hard-part-of-parenting/comment-page-1/#comment-97 Grandma Thu, 27 Sep 2007 23:34:37 +0000 http://www.jessandchuck.com/2007/09/27/the-hard-part-of-parenting/#comment-97 Maybe he's having a delayed case of "terrible twos" at three! The only thing I can suggest is that your mantra must be "This too will pass!" because it will. And keep your fingers crossed that it will pass sooner rather than later! Maybe he’s having a delayed case of “terrible twos” at three! The only thing I can suggest is that your mantra must be “This too will pass!” because it will. And keep your fingers crossed that it will pass sooner rather than later!

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